Help! My Child Has Been Kicked Out of School!
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Once again the British press is full of discussion about children misbehaving in school. And once again the main solution seems to be "exclude the troublemakers from the classroom".

This time the discussion was little bit different though. The new twist is that the notion that parents should stay home and watch their children once the kids have been kicked out of school for misbehaving.

This doesn't make any sense and is a nuisance to parents. The discussion also describes letting special schools stay open or even building new special schools for these children.

The child has been kicked out of the regular classroom which demonstrates that they are having a tough time fitting in with the usual student setting. Then the solution must include finding an educational setting where the students can actually thrive, right?

This leads you to wonder what you can do as a parent if your child has been sent home from school for misbehaving. I have thought about this in detail after dealing with the very same issues with my oldest child.

1. You have not failed as a parent. Don't waste time having a pity party for yourself. Perhaps your parenting skills could use some improvement, but that is the case for just about everyone. Try to be a better parent by actively seeking out information through books and materials on raising kids.

2. The school has not failed to support your child. Your school does care about your child and maybe the mishandled education of your child is due to issues beyond their control like not having enough resources or poor teacher training.

3. DO make every representation to the local education authority (LEA) to find an alternative appropriate service for your child. Don't be aggressive, don't be rude, but do be very persistent and very insistent. If need be, see your politicians and even your newspapers.

4. DO be prepared to consider alternative placements, such as special schools or even residential placements. Better to deal with it now, than to have your child growing up with the bad behaviors!

5. Seek out help to see if your child may have a learning disability, ADHD or Asperger's syndrome. These can cause disruptions in the classroom. There is an enviroment in which children who suffer from these conditions can thrive. It is a matter of finding that environment.

6. DO NOT try to pretend that your child is an angel and everyone is wrong about his behavior. Much better to agree there is a problem and be seen to be doing your very best to get it sorted out - but for that you need help from the LEA.

Well, that's just a few quick thoughts about it.

The six tips listed should be of some assistance to any parent coping with a child's behavior. Plus, if you work in the education arena please do not decide kicking the child out of the classroom is the best solution. That is not a productive solution and would upset all parties involved.

Dr. Noel Swanson is a child psychiatrist who specializes in child behaviour problems. He has a fascinating website with lots of parenting help that is well worth a visit, and also a must-read book, The GOOD CHILD Guide.
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